Tuesday, September 15, 2015


My heart is heavy and my thoughts are stayed on our church body who mourns deeply today with Michelle, Hope, Matthew, and extended family on the loss of a husband and dad, son, business man, and friend to many from all walks of life.

I think of all the prayers, all the efforts of so many and I ask why? In this life there are many mysteries, (Deuteronomy 29:29 - God has secrets) and in all truth, there are few answers that would satisfy our questions and longing for things to be different:  no death.  No pain.  No heartache.  No wars.  No hunger.  No conflict.  But that would be in a perfect world, and this world does not do perfect.

One thing I know and was evidenced in  Barry's life, is that he loved Jesus, his Saviour, trusting him with his life here - which is the tip of a tip of a tip by thousands of the tip of a head of a pin compared to the depth and span of eternity.  At some point in Barry's life, he turned from the what was of this world to the what could be in Christ. Today, Barry has his reward. In this simple and naked truth, there is hope for all of us.

I am reminded often of the passage where Jesus looks at his followers and asks  "Are you leaving me too?" (And God is asking us .... You too? Are you leaving?") to which Peter,  rash, all over the place, compulsive, outspoken, immature Peter, replies, (and is, has to be our reply as well...over and over again in a lifetime if we are going to make it) "there is nowhere else to go."

I believe in that moment, Peter was all in. He drew a line in the sand of his soul and stepped over it to Christ's side. He declared that "as for him and his house", it was a done deal, he would serve the Lord. That was the moment he bought in, hook, line, and sinker. It didn't mean he wouldn't have times of doubt or fear, he was human and faced this old world daily, moment by moment, just like us.

But his course was set.

So it is with each of us. We are constantly being asked - by God, the world, by our own conscience, "to whom do you belong to this day?"

Peter became one of the most influential men of all time. All because he got it. He decided he was all in, for better for worse, he was all in.  Yes, there was a time when he faltered, but he got up again and pressed on toward the goal that he had not yet taken hold of and, with God's help, he finished strong.

Life here on earth will never be perfect. We will have wonderful days and we will have days of wonder. We have our joys and yes, God help us, we have gut-wrenching sorrow.

It is in the darkest of the night of the soul that each of us must choose, for no choice is a choice, where the God of all asks each person everywhere individually and personally, "Are you with me? Will you accept my Son Jesus? Will you live empowered by My Spirit?"

And this God, who created us, who loves us enough to allow us to say "no"and go our own way, is faithful to accept us at any point, in whatever mess we find ourselves, up until our last breath,  evidenced by a lowly thief who hung on a cross beside Jesus. ("Today, you will be in paradise.")

We mourn today. Are hearts, thoughts, and prayers are close to the brokenhearted. But in the midst of mourning, there is hope. 

And that my friends, makes a hell of a difference.

John 6:66-69

After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. 67 So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” 68 Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, 69 and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.

Tuesday, June 02, 2015


I am celebrating this week.

And I am grateful.  I have a whiteboard in my office and today I wrote on it what a friend shared with me earlier:  What would you have left today if all you had is what you were grateful for yesterday?

Well, today I would have a load of people and experiences because I spent a lot of time yesterday counting my blessings and thanking God. I have the privilege of being called a wife and a mom, steadfast and faithful friends, a job in which I take great satisfaction, a really cute puppy :) and so much more. In fact there was news good enough to cry about yesterday - and I did. Colour me emotional but, yay God!

I am grateful most for the Transformachine I have been through this past 26 years.  God's transforming presence and work in me. Around me. Though me. And the best thing is, it will never stop…until I do.

Eleven years, twenty-four courses, 100s of meetings, more training that I can count, Encounter, discussions, interviews, votes, travel to Oshawa and Florida, prayer, tears, heartbreak, and joy. 

It's all wrapped up and this part of the experience as a whole, ends - and begins on Friday as I will (finally!) be ordained as a deacon in the Church of the Nazarene.

Eleven years ago I experienced a call to ministry that was and is, personal and profound. I have returned multiple times in my memory to that quiet morning at my kitchen table, where most of my mornings start; pen, Bible, and journal ready.

In those few seconds, I knew that I knew - not that I didn't question over the years...

"I am raising kids, really, God?"
"This is going to take forever, really. God?"
"I don't. Think. I. Can. Take. Another. Course.  Really, God?"
"My heart hurts, I am tired of expectations and judgements, really God?"
"Aren't you going to tell me what the next steps are - really, God?"

Every time, just in time, I have been encouraged enough to keep plodding along.  "Blessed are the plodders" as my pastor is known to say (again and again).

Alls I know is that I have become as I have done.  What will change?  Well, I don't think anything in the meantime or on the surface, but who knows? I do know that the study, the coursework, and the large investment of time and resources from others into my life has allowed me to do what I do better. 

I am called to walk with women, to help them experience the life that God meant for them. Jesus did not come for us just to have life, but to have life more abundant.  Too many (women) settle and the difference between a life of ok and a life of fulfillment, is as simple as someone coming alongside and championing them, encouraging them to keep growing, being, doing, living God's best life for themselves and their children.

It is simple.  It is complicated. It is the exact thing that Jesus called us to do: make disciples (who make disciples).  I added that last part, but I know that is what Jesus meant :)

I can't recall how many women have sat in my little kitchen.  I do remember bits and pieces of conversations, prayers, tears, the sharing of accomplishments, children's milestones, eureka moments, and the sweet times when God showed up in powerful ways, binding women together with seeds of hope that never disappoint.

Some I have journeyed with for a season, some for years.  One thing I am assured of, is that God's Word never returns void. His Spirit is already at work (prevenient grace) and it is a sacred thing to contribute to the growth and evolving of more.

I continue because it is who I am, who I am becoming, and who I will continue to be by God's amazing grace.

I am not sure of what the next steps are past Friday night, but I do know that I am going to celebrate - and I am going to be open to whatever the next steps are.

I am asking and I am listening.  And in the meantime, I am going to keep on making disciples (who make disciples).

Monday, March 23, 2015


(Nov. Dec. Jan. "Such great weather, hardly any snow.")
Beware the winter that begins quietly, gathering strength.
I think that'll preach.

This was the post I displayed on my Facebook wall this morning.  Winter this year on PEI really didn’t start until February.  Up until then, I was thinking that it was a great winter.  As each week passed, I felt like we had missed another storm. Little did I know Mother Nature was saving them all up and then some for February and March. 

I dislike winter driving and the hassles with parking downtown. When there is a lot of snow, the streets are narrow and the parking is premium.

It is hard to believe, but we have received about 515 cm of snow (or about 16 feet) since I had those silly thoughts.  The kids have missed a lot of school and employees have missed lots of work.  Businesses have suffered and everyone seems weary. 

Even though the season had been good with just a few flurries here and there up until the end of January, we were lulled into thinking we would weather the winter months unscathed.  The fact is, it’s been a very long, short winter that snuck up on us and stung us severely.

Such as it is with sin.  We get lulled into thinking a bit of a wrong attitude, a bit of a bad habit, a bit of a wrong relationship, won’t mean a hill of beans in the long run.  We go about our business, thinking that we will hardly be affected the sin is so slight.


Until we get walloped with a storm…and another, and another, and we find it hard to stand.  Sideswiped by the enemy, blindsided by those we thought we could trust, unappreciated, misunderstood, misjudged.  Things we did or said taken out of context and repeated in unkind ways. 

The enemy is having a field day because all the while we thought there were no storms on the horizon and enjoying the sunshiny days, he was building his arsenal against us.

Oops, we are just now realizing that we need snow pants, jacket, hat, mitts, and while we are at it, snowshoes.

Before any of us are overwhelmed, the good thing is, we can rectify it right now!  Let's get our winter gear on and do the stuff we need to do and should have been doing all along. 

Watch your words.
Watch your attitude.
Watch your habits.
And, watch your back.

It’s not time for a cruise ship, we are on an icebreaker and the winter is not yet over.

Trust God; ask him to remind you to keep your eyes on him, before circumstances force you to. 

Duly noted.

1 John 2:12-17 12 I am writing to you, little children, that your sins have been forgiven because of his name. 13 I am writing to you, fathers, that you have known him who has been from the beginning. I am writing to you, young people, that you have conquered the evil one. 14 I have written to you, children, that you have known the Father. I have written to you, fathers, that you have known him who has been from the beginning. I have written to you, young people, that you are strong, and the word of God resides in you, and you have conquered the evil one. 15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him, 16 because all that is in the world (the desire of the flesh and the desire of the eyes and the arrogance produced by material possessions) is not from the Father, but is from the world. 17 And the world is passing away with all its desires, but the person who does the will of God remains forever.

Notice where the clothesline is. This will be a good reference come July. Surely the snow will be gone by then. I hope. 

Saturday, December 27, 2014



I just finished the One Word plan in the You Version Bible reading plan. I have the 365 day one on the go also, but the OW plan was a 4-day project; very doable this time of year.

The word grace has been coming to me repeatedly these past few months in several unrelated ways.  With a bit of hesitation (and maybe a bit of irritation too) on my part, I recognize if I want to continue to move forward, then I need to give some serious thought over to the exploration of this five-letter word. 

I have walked the journey of faith since my mid-twenties and at age 51, I think God is turning a few things (and thought processes) in my life right side up. Answers or conclusions I have been taught and have lived are now open to discussion, examination, and dissection. 

It is a dangerous place to be in some ways because I need to seek God's heart  without any preconceived ideas. 

In the overall scheme of things, I am not going off the rails. I am not a snapshow (a term used by young people these days that I believe means what I would term as "out to lunch"). 

God is big enough, smart enough, cares enough to meet me on this path as I challenge, question, and seek God-breathed answers to hard questions that will not be satisfied in platitudes. 

So, grace it is. One Word 2015, coming right up. 

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


My husband, a man of not too many words, told me he heard a good saying recently. After hearing it and considering the week I have  had already (ohmyland is it only Tuesday?)  I think I will declare his words very good.*

"A fish that keeps his (or her) mouth shut never gets caught." Bam!

Ok, well, maybe never is a bit extreme as a hook could catch the fish in the bum, or a fin or similar.  But I get the point.

Sometimes my mind is engaged elsewhere and I find myself indiscriminately sharing something that is quick or thoughtless.  Maybe it is a quick volunteerism because "I can" but the reality is, "I can" doesn't always mean "I should."

We are a world that has for the most part, become uncomfortable with silence.  We poke at it like the canvas of a very black sky, with sharp points until it is riddled with holes and the light shines through.  Afterward, we wonder what in the world were we thinking?  The truth is, often we weren't and the holes that were poked through cannot be repaired.

I think of the times when it would have been better for others to have not shared their opinion with me because they had no idea the amount of hurt it caused or the wound it left, thank you very much.  But the wounds that remain remind me that I too, make mistakes and I am indeed grateful for grace and the art of forgiveness.

Then there is a skill to silence others when they are speaking harsh things, untruths, or gossip that you are better off not knowing. State your boundaries without negotiation. It is ok, you know, to remove yourself from toxic waters.

fish fry

i'm as curious
and curiouser
as curious could be
gibbering jabbering
swimming along
if i ain't talking
i'm singing a song
there's no such thing
as silence in my day
why would I want
not to have a say
there's a multitude
of words
waiting to get out
so I open my mouth
and I begin to spout
advice I will give
because advice
is what is sought
and before I know it
by the hook I am caught.

*i am going to practice being quiet this week. Just sayin'

Wednesday, December 10, 2014


But Martha was distracted with all the preparations she had to make... (Luke 10:40 NET)

With the increase in technology, we have become a generation of multitaskers. It is a regular occurrence to see others with their heads down at stop lights, texting. Last year when we were driving to and from Pennsylvania, it was shocking to see so many people texting and driving. 

Four or eight lane highways and cars zipping in and out and there is a (mostly young) person in the midst of what I describe as organized chaos, texting. 

Overall, it was anxiety inducing to see this because it was pretty obvious (to me anyway) that all one's attention needed to be on the task at hand. Lives actually depended on it.

I wonder how many times God looks at us and thinks, "they are so busy preparing, they have forgotten the reason they are preparing." 

Which is a good thought to consider these next few weeks before the season whips by and we find ourselves in the doldrums of mid-January wondering what the heck just happened. 

Tuesday, December 09, 2014


More than a year hiatus. I was 63 days short of completing one year, and left the challenge and detoured a bit. This has been quite a year of personal transition. I am not sure if people would notice on the outside, but there has been a whole lotta thinking going on in the inside. It is like I hit 50 and slammed on the breaks, pulled over to the side of the road to check the map, and evaluate my position.

-what are the really important things that I want to focus on going forward?
-what has worked so far and am I happy with where I am?

I decided that mostly things were working well but that I could unbutton the proverbial sweater to the button that was missed, and rebutton it, lining it up properly so I will end on the right one.

That's not a bad thing. In fact, it's a really good thing.

I discovered that had I been given a chance, I would have done a few things differently. I would have shut up more in some areas and stood up more in others. And I am making peace with the fact that with some things there are no do overs, they just are. It is a humbling reality.

I am learning tons about nutrition and how food is linked to a whole bunch of nasties (mood swings, illness, depression, anxiety etc.) and basically that dietary recommendations and the things that have been happening to our food supply since the 80s, by and large without our knowledge (GMOs anyone?) have resulted in increased healthcare costs and overall pain.

I am learning that food security here on PEI is a growing concern.

I have made kombucha, kefir water, grown a bit of a garden, grown mushrooms, researched loads about sustainability and nutrition, wrote poetry, made new friends, connected with a few old ones….I have learned much.

I am also learning that like-minded individuals of all different backgrounds and worldviews can (and should) work well together to make a difference in their own lives and in the lives of others. We can become overwhelmed with the amount of need around us, even still, when we help one, or a few, the ripple effect can be astounding.

I have learned that the God I serve and have served faithfully for 30 years is even more loving and full of grace than I ever gave him credit for.

More in the coming weeks. But for today, it's a start. Again.  I have had no big events or failures or out of the ballpark, home run successes over the past year, but life is good and I am grateful.

God loves  when we begin again, it's a fresh start  and he is all over it.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013


One of those days.  It seemed that at every turn it was bad news.  Phone calls, conversations, the newspaper, the radio.  A world gone mad.

I hear it often, "Are things worse?  Or is it because we are now aware of so much?"

I don't really and truly know the answer but I do know that some days the weight of the pain and sorrow and hard circumstances lies heavy on one's heart and thoughts.

And I wonder.

How, oh God, how do people get through the trials of life without you?

It is one out of the 10,000 reasons I am compelled to keep on keeping on, speaking words of comfort, of God's truth and of the ultimate hope we have in him.  Everything that we treasure, we lose over time; nothing is forever. Except Jesus Christ.

Our lives are vapour.  As I walked this morning, I was thinking that the dew on the grass will evaporate - just like our lives will, one by one, until this generation passes and another one takes it place, only to repeat the cycle.


Until God says, "ENOUGH. It is time! Son, go and GET MY CHILDREN!"

The trumpet will sound, and in the blink of an eye, Jesus will split the eastern sky and all that has been wrong will be righted. A sight that will simultaneously bring terror as well as uncontainable joy.

Joy-filled for those who know and love him and who will fall on their faces for their longing has been fulfilled and promises have come to fruition in their lifetime - promises that generations of the faithful have waited for and history is now complete.

Terror-induced for those who do not know, and who will also fall on their faces, not because they want to, but because they will have no choice except to bow before the  weight of the power of the presence of Jesus Christ.

In that moment, there will be a multitudes of thoughts; those of faith will be rejoicing that they are alive in the most exciting and glorious time in all of history.  Those who rejected the Good News will be thinking that what they are seeing cannot possibly be happening.  What they are experiencing is not what they believed, all this religion stuff is not real, or what they have been taught - and every false religions that man has dreamt up satisfy his own desires will be proven false.  Once and for all.

It will be a very costly, for all eternity, "uh oh."

But - in the long run, none of those thoughts will matter because they will be replaced with fear and dread, for at the very end of time as we know it - there will be no "do overs."

How can a loving God allow this?  Our loving God right now, puts up with the foolishness of man, sickness, and watching good people suffer - his heart breaking as we continue to use and abuse the planet and  hurt each other - yet he continues to allow free choice because he wants to give us every opportunity to choose to follow him willingly.

Call upon his name while it is still day.

If you have not read the Bible, try reading the book of John.  Humour me and before you start to read, address God:  God, please open my understanding and help me to see with your eyes and your heart.  Amen."


After a discouraging day yesterday I awaken this morning with this song on repeat in my thoughts:  10,000 Reasons.


There are 10,000 reasons to worship his name today.  The sun comes up it is a new day dawning it is time to sing your song again, whatever may come and whatever lies before me, let me be singing when the evening comes.

Thank you Lord that in my joyful circumstances you are present and my life is fuller and richer because of your presence.  Thank you that in trying times and in times of uncertainly you are "even still" present and bring hope to all that appears hopeless in the natural.  

But you are not natural and there are so many things of you that we, mere mortals, cannot explain.  But this I do know:  You have a good and perfect plan and you have not forgotten your mission.  In this crazy world  where the created has forgotten the Creator, and pain and grief abounds, you are present, waiting to comfort all who turn to you.  

Even so, Lord Jesus come.  Thank you that I have read the end of the book and I know how it all ends.  And it ends good. 

For those who entertaining bitterness and anger, tempted to be sidetracked, help them to get their eyes off of what is -and on to what REALLY is.  Be the lifter of heads and hearts and remind your children that you have not forgotten them or their circumstances.  Help them to open their mouths and lift their hands in praise.  The enemy will be defeated, every time - even if at the moment it does not look like it.  The call of the Word is that we don't just run the race but that we finish strong.

For those of you who are reading and saying, "hmph, I don't believe all that 'stuff'." I implore you to ask yourself a simple question:  What if I am right?

What if, indeed.

Monday, July 15, 2013


Ps 17:8b Hide me in the shadow of your wings!  

Ps 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil;  For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Ps 57:1b In the shadow of your wings I take shelter until trouble passes. 

Luke 1:78-79 Because of our God’s tender mercy the dawn will break upon us from on high to   give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.”

Shadows appear dark and scary. When we turn our attention to  circumstances in the natural, seeds of fear and unrest take root in places that were lush with God's promises. They sprout like crazy because, believe me, fertilizer abounds:  naysayers, world events, pessimists, doomers and gloomers, unbelievers, mean-spirited people, discouragers - and the list goes on.

"What if?"
"How are you going to do that?"
"You could get hurt."
"Do you really feel called to (fill in the blank)?"
"That's ridiculous...impossible...silly....crazy..."

Well, I gots THREE things to say to you:

1. Circumstances are (ALWAYS) subject to change.

2.  You cannot trust your feelings, our own insecurities and fears can be your biggest roadblocks. 

3.  Don't - do not listen to naysayers, even if they mean well.  Open the Book. Get in the Word.  Listen to what God has to say.

You may be in the shadows and fear is overtaking you but thing seldom appear as they truly are. 

Look up.  

If there is a shadow blocking God's protective shadow over you, then do whatever you have to do (read the Word, confess, make a few changes, make it right, do the next right thing) and get out from under it and quickly get in line behind Christ so that it is his shadow only that you feel.

Nothing shakes or scares him.  He is Abba Daddy and he will fight on your behalf.

Then....breath.  Rest.  Relax.

Disaster avoided.  


Keep going. Go and walk out God's good plan in his strength and good pleasure.  

Psalm 56:3  When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

Tuesday, May 28, 2013


Yesterday I saw a lot of young people wearing graduation gowns.  So much excitement, loads of proud families, grads standing on the precipice of great promise, and I found myself wishing.

(Actually, wishes are nothing more than little thoughts that occur in the split second of quiet, just before you take a deep breath and blow out your birthday candles.)

So yes, even though I knew that wishes are folly, I found myself wishing.


Wake up O sleeper, and turn your attention to prayer, trusting the One who was and is and will be forever more.

I then found myself transitioning from wishing to silently praying for and asking God's blessing and wisdom to be upon the young people who walked past me.

The thought that has showed up several times this past month and again arrived on the doorstep of my consciousness, shoving its way to the forefront: (much like Gatsby peering through the screen door waiting to be let in)

"I am 100% responsible for me.
I can trust God to do his part. 
You are 100% responsible for you."

God, please help me to remember...100 times a day if necessary. 

One cannot live on wishes, but one can live on God's preferred plan.

(Or not. Oh for the blessing and curse of that little thing called "free will.")  Because of free will, today I am reaping the consequences of choices made yesterday as well as from years ago. The question at hand is, "what am I planting today that I will reap years from now?"

Right now.  Here.  Today. You and I are at work continuously planting something.  If I am careful to remember this, hopefully I will increasingly endeavour to plant joy, kindness, love, peace, gentleness, and good things... 

Inquire.  Listen.  Test.  Check your footing. Honestly assess your resources. Act responsibly. Delegate.  Be kind. You don't have to win or be right or be the best at the expense of others.

Be the best you - and as you make choices - try to look at the bigger picture....and in the midst of choices when you're not sure which way to go or the way looks unclear - simply choose the  good, God-honouring path because good and God honouring is always right. 

So today, instead of wishing, I pray. I pray for my daughters, I pray for my extended family, and I pray for your children and family too.

I pray for those starting out on new roads...oh the joy and anticipation of fresh beginnings!

I pray for those who are on the path already and who are glancing back at the competition wondering if they are in the lead (doesn't matter - just keep running your race!)

And I pray for those who are nearing the finish line wondering if they have enough energy to keep going.  (No, you don't but God does - so trust, just trust - and He will bring to completion what He has started.)

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


Your voice
Calling guiding leading
Seeds of new
Sprouting from
Fertile good soil
Wake up
Dear one
And fall into your place
Without jostling
Standing shoulder to shoulder
Far away from the shores
Of usual and familiar
Choosing trust and
Honouring yesterday
With today's confidence
Stepping into 
His good and perfect will
My time your time 
His time

Saturday, May 11, 2013


4:21 a.m. musings....

"Don't hear what I am not saying." 

Sometimes I (or any given one of us) are not so great at communicating. It's a scary thought by times how words that leave one place and travel to another can at various points, be lost in translation.  I do wish that communication was easier.

I recall one time reading a few sentences that someone wrote. My mood as I read was a bit off as my interaction with the author hadn't been overly positive.

I felt offended and irritated and wondered how on earth I was going to respond.

I brought the e-mail to my boss and asked her to read aloud that which I had just received.

She did; and as she read with a steady, quiet and gentle voice, the few sentences took on a whole different meaning and suddenly the words seemed sweet, sincere, and non-threatening.

Same words, different filter.

Way good lesson.

It's why we should evaluate our own feelings and insecurities, joys, and sorrows, when we are finding someone or something affecting our mood, stress level, or actions.

It would be prudent to ask oneself, "Self, what lens are you filtering this information?" 

It is not easy to be that aware and often we are caught off guard, hearing things that were not actually spoken. 

And the enemy of truth; the enemy of all that is good; the nasty enemy of our soul, rejoices.


So my thought, my prayer is that God would help me speak, write; communicate effectively with clarity, kindness of heart, honesty and vulnerability - all the time - or at least the majority of time!

And then on the flip side I genuinely ask for help to internally take a few seconds and choose the best thought scenerio when others are speaking or writing to me.

I truly believe that it is seldom someone's desire to hurt or destroy people, often they simply speak or ask from care and concern, "thinking out loud" moments and in all likelihood, their own filtered experiences is where they speak. 

The reality is, how can it be any different? We bring ourselves and our baggage to every conversation. 

It is a wonder when we ever get it right and perfectly hear another's voice.

All of it makes it super important to be listening and reading God's communicating to us (Bible) while we sort through life.  And sort we do - no worries, conflict, decision making or stress probably means you either live in total isolation or are heavily medicated.

Which brings me to this: a mind will reach a mind but a heart will reach a heart.

I want to connect at a heart level and I want you to understand me, not interject a million thoughts and experiences into the words I so often, unknowingly and with a lack of grace, convey. I need grace extended to me as much as I need to extend that same grace.

I think of what my girl Jenny, says to her puppy Gatsby, "gentle touches for gentle puppies."

Lord, please gentle me, gentle us all - and gentle our cosmic touches upon each other.  Then help us to choose the high road, believing the best about others and their intentions.

Let's go from there shall we?

A gentle response defuses anger, but a sharp tongue kindles a temper-fire. (Proverbs 15:1 MSG)

Sunday, April 28, 2013


Orlando and back. I attended a conference and it was a watershed time for me at this stage of life. It will take some time to really process all that I learned and experienced. Hint: it's good, really good.

Over and over again I experienced God's care and love through others. It was way cool.

One of the things I have always wondered about is what would happen if someone had a heart attack on a plane.

You see, fear of unknowns is an area where I have struggled. I am sure there are reasons for that but I am not overly interested in figuring out the why's, I just want to be free in this, what has been a holdout area for me, and move forward - totally trusting others' plans and schedules without personal input.

My husband was supportive. "Go; you want to, I have every confidence this will be a great experience."

I turned 50 this year and one of the things I felt God speak to me for 2013 is "YES." I have the distinct impression that I need to just do stuff without analyzing every detail.

God is in the details, he wants me to trust him and others more, losing my personal preference and comfort zone agenda - in preference to His agenda.

Layers, levels, whatever you want to call it, God continually calls us to depth. He accepts us where we are but loves us way too much to leave us in that same place.
Such were my thoughts as I buckled myself in on flight #1.

"I'm not much of a fly-er." I told my seat mate.
"No worries, this is flight #2 for me, so I will explain everything to you."
And she did, step by step.
"So what happens if someone got sick or took a heart attack?"
"Well, likely there would be someone on board who could help. I am a nurse, so I could easily help."

I grinned, thank you God. I feel safe. Seriously, how amazing is God to put a sweet, friendly, helpful gal beside me who interacted, talked freely about her own uncertainties, and shared step by step, her newly acquired flying tips? A couple of times she looked at me and said, "normal, this is normal."

Before we parted, I thanked her for her help and asked if I could thank her with a prayer. With her quick agreement, I prayed for her - that God would continue to bless the work of her healing hands.

Flight #2. Sat with Bill. He answered my questions easily...

Orlando. Lots of great stuff. Still processing.

Flight #3. I tell myself to be calm. I have used the washroom, even took a couple extra walks into the bathroom just in case. I think I am good. Be calm.

I sat down beside a lady about my age. I told her I was a little apprehensive. We chit chatted a bit. She then told me she was a cardiac nurse in St. John.

Do you think I was getting the point that there was a theme here? If my biggest concern was being sick onboard, then God was assuring me. Thank you God, you are answering and blasting away my fear.

Chrisann was lovely and a lady of faith. We talked about lots of things and the flight felt fast. Similarly, I asked her for the privilege to pray a blessing over her and again, with quick agreement, did so.

"Did you ask God to bless my socks off?"
"I sure did."
She said she loved it and we laughed.

I could easily see that she is a fantastic nurse because she is a fantastic lady.

Flight #4. I am sitting on the aisle with no seat mate a moment or two before takeoff. I am having a dialogue with myself.

"Ok, you are seasoned enough now, you don't need nurse assurance, buck up."

I imagined God telling me that he has nicely provided every step of the way, and I agreed, thanked him and telling him it was fine, I was good by myself.

I then imagined him saying to me, "haha, just kidding, this time I sent you a pilot."

Yes, I laughed.

It turned out that this pilot regularly flew 15-hour flights in Tokyo and was headed home for a week with his family.

During turbulence I glanced at the pilot. No concern there.
Rougher turbulence.

"Is this normal?"
"Yes, no worries."
He explained why there is turbulence. "Just weather and temperature changes, all very normal."

Then I slept for an hour.

At the end of the flight, I thanked him for his company and for explaining flying stuff to me. I wished him a wonderful week at home with his family.

Flight #5. Puddle jumper from Halifax to PEI. Before boarding Bill explained to put my carry on in the luggage cart. Two young men in their early 30's were the pilot and co-pilot. I know at this stage of life they would definitely be wanting to arrive safely.

I loved the flight and seeing the red shores of PEI was sweet. I looked out the window and saw the red soil and I thanked God for his amazing provision for this 50 year old woman on the outside; 7 on the inside in regards to flying, and who needed to grow up a little. Or a lot.

With a sense of accomplishment, I whispered, "I did it."

No, more accurately, "We did it."

I thanked God for always showing up just in time, for Gingher and his enthusiastic and unwavering support at every stage of ministry; for Bill, Pastors Dave and Nadine, whom I have walked with for twenty plus years; and for Scott, who I am getting to know....for "well planted" nurses, and finally, for a pilot who was in need of a rest.

Matthew 6:26-28 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013


I subscribe to a creative photography project called, "Humans of New York." Most days, one or more pictures are shared on my FB page of people that the photographer notices out and about on his daily jaunts around New York City.

One of the images yesterday was of a guy who appears to be inquisitive and daring enough to turn around in a booth and interrupt the photographer (who I assume was eating lunch), "sorry to bother you...how do you decide who to put on your blog?"

Interesting question. I am sure there are a plethora of reasons and that those reasons are different each day.

What strikes me and what I like about HONY is that the photographer is clever enough to pay attention; to take notice of what most people ignore, walk by, and dismiss.


"We" are too busy to see the sparkle of life that is often hidden or missed at first glance.

Then we see HONY's photo. Within a short time there are thousands of "likes" and people from all over the world are saying how beautiful or attractive, brilliant, or courageous that person or persons are (yesterday's picture has 19,000+ "likes" at last glance).

Typically, there are hundreds of comments, lots of words describing the subject and I would say that for the most part, the bulk of them are positive, uplifting ones.

I say all of that to say this:

We. Miss. So. Much.

I am thinking that if we were more aware and consciously took the time to look up and out, making eye contact with the world around us, all of us would see a whole lot more beautiful people, situations, and things and that we in turn, would experience more joy.

Yes, beauty is subjective, but there is beauty and beautiful people everywhere...true beauty is essence. Beautiful on the outside does not automatically equal beauty on the inside; beauty on the inside always shines outward.

Beautiful people are in our workplaces, our schools, our families, our churches....maybe that person of intrinsic beauty just rang your purchase in at the local market and you never really noticed.

Have you looked? Really looked? Have you looked at your child asking you a question? Your spouse  across the dining room table? At the person in bed, weak and struggling? At the guy serving your coffee this morning?

Have you looked, really looked in a mirror and appreciated beauty without picking apart what you don't like? It is one's spirit, experiences, compassion, generosity, kindness; the sum total of life that composes real and lasting beauty.

See it all around you today. It's everywhere; you just need to open your eyes.

It's a new day. Embrace it and determine to act in kindness toward others walking out your own unique beauty, whether HONY is about - or not. Have a happy day.

PS - check out Humans of New York - neat! https://www.facebook.com/humansofnewyork

Monday, April 15, 2013


What if what we see
Isn't real
Only shadows
Of could be should be
Through glass we see darkly
Unveiled pulled away
And it is starkly
That illusions
Have fed our delusions
Invested in stuff
Now clearly fluff
That won't matter nohow
When time stops and
There's no choice but bow